Valentine's Day

Well this year I have two Valentines! My hubby and my boy Jake. I remember growing up my mom would always give us valentine's treats on our bed, so when we woke up or got back from school there they were. Candy hearts and Reese's hearts. Well I am sure it varied form year to year but I can't forget the Reese's heart! Holy cow do I love Reeses :) I can't wait to start that tradition with my kids. Holidays are so much more fun with them around. I remember growing up and wishing even praying every night that I would have some random good looking guy drop off flowers at my door or confess his love to me on Valentine's Day. Hahaha Once Mark came around I got my lovey-dovey Valentine's Day things. Even this morning at 4:30am when I was feeding Jake, I saw a dozen roses and a HUGE I love you card. So sweet! Mark treats me really good. Ya know I must just be spoiled but I truely feel loved and special every day of the year. But Valentine's Day now takes on a WHOLE NEW meaning...a date! A real live date! Don't know when I had one of those last. 8 months ago I think... Hahaha Our last date was at The Melting Pot and I think that is where we would like to go again. And this year I have a little boy whom I love more than life laying in his crib right now sleeping. Lots more love this year to go around. Happy Valentine's Day!

Life...

I can't believe it has been so long since I have written anything. With Jake getting older, I am finding less and less time for myself. He is active, moving, wants my attention, play time and I happily give it to him. So I finally started my own pilates class! Man, they are going great! People are responding well to it and are enjoying getting their booties kicked :) Sheesh, I need to kick my own booty a little more. I swore I would never look like a mom, never allow one extra pregnancy pound stay on, but guess what? I wasn't a mom. Sweats are mom clothes, why? They are comfy, and when you get baby food all over them, who the heck cares? Extra pounds? Man, if I wasn't so tired and exhausted all the time you would think they would fly off me. I do what I can while Jake sleeps. I wish vacuuming and cleaning counted for some serious cardio, but it doesn't. I don't have time for me anymore. I know I need to make time, but it's hard to when my days are so full. What would I even do? I leave Jake behind and I miss him so much I hurry up everything I have to do just to get back to him. And me time these days are errands...joy. But would I trade what I am doing for anything else? Nop. But do I still need confirmation as a mom, wife, woman? Yeah, most definitely. I find that even though I am doing so much, I am not getting confirmation for being a good mom, wife and woman. I know I am doing a good job but I don't hear it enough. Don't get me wrong my husband always encourages me, tells me he loves me and that I am a great mom, but then who am I wanting the confirmation from? Other moms? People in general? And I wonder if every mom is just waiting for someone to walk up to them an tell them that they are great moms and are making good decisions for their kids and look great. Cause I have been watching moms at the stores, they all look worn out, at their wits end, enjoying their children but having to keep close tabs on them and I bet all that mom wants to hear is what I want to hear..."You are doing a great job and you look beautiful" cause I know I do.

A new year...

Every year I write in my journal and reminisce about the previous year and what my goals were and what they are the next year. I am too lazy to go to my car to get my journal BUT I know I few of my goals off hand: Be a great mom, have a home, get certified to be a pilates instructor...Luckily every one of the goals got a accomplished. But isn't it funny how they might just be simple words on a page but in reality there was A LOT that had to be done to get just one accomplished. But I must say we have been extremely blessed this year. The love and joy of our lives came into the world, we bought a home, I became a certified pilates instructor, went on vacation and so much more. But it's amazing what one year can bring. SO MUCH has changed. This time last year I was pregnant dreaming of what my baby would look like and now he is flipping over, scooting, laughing, it seems like a life time ago. We are living in a home next to family. Now I get to see them every day! It's so much fun to just pop on over to my mom's house or have the in-laws stop on by. Last week my dad came over for about 5 min. just to play with Jake and then continued his agenda. Ya know and I never ever ever ever though I would ever move back to where I grew up. that was like a major no no. But it's funny how over time you want to be back with your family and just hang out. What would i like to get accomplished this year? Maintain a clean house (never have done that one before but I am going to try!) get into a good pilates program out here, teach pilates from my home, read more books, get pregnant again, be the best mom I can to Jakearoo, be a great wife, find a good church, get involved in a mom's group...that's a pretty long list! Whew! But hey I got a year right? Then before you know it I won't know where the time went!

Kids

I didn't know happiness till I had my son. Sure I thought I was happy and fulfilled, but I wasn't. I didn't know love until he came along. I thought I knew what it meant to love and give your whole heart to someone, I didn't. I thought I knew how to enjoy life and live each day to its fullest, no I didn't. When my little boy came along my world was flipped upside down. Laughing never felt so good, smiling never felt as warm. I have a love for him I didn't know existed until he came along. Parents used to always tell me these things but I looked at their kids and had to take their word for it cause frankly most kids drove me nuts...until that is, I had one. I rejoice when I see a poopie diaper cause that means he is meeting his "quota". I proudly walk around with bits of throw up and pee somewhere on my clothes and it doesn't matter. My son smiles and my heart skips a beat or more like melts. I hold him everyday and squeeze really tight and thank God for every day that I have with him. I will stand there doing the same silly thing for an hour if Jake likes it, even if every bone in my body says "Stop! No more!" Can't remember the last time I had a hot or even lukewarm meal. Not to mention sleeping longer than 5 hours before waking up cause his pacifer has fallen out. (We are working on that one) I could go on and on, and for those of you who have kids you know what I mean and I am sure you feel the same way. My mom gave me a big hug the other day and I realized that she loves me the way I love my son, so I squeezed a little harder cause if I were hugging Jake I would want him to do that. My parents have loved me this much my whole life? I never knew it, but how could I? I have never loved like this until I had my own. So God loves me this much even though I never loved Him back? i mean really love Him the way it's supposed to be. How could I? I never knew what it was like to love until 6 months ago when I was holding Jake in my arms. And God has worn my "throw up", my bad attitudes, lack of pretty much everything on His sleeves, loving me long before I even knew how to love Him. And honestly? I probably still can't love Him the way I should cause does any child love their parents they way their parents love them? No. It's impossible.

Rant...

I can't believe that this week is our last week in our apartment before we move into a house...WHAT?! And now we are packing which is no fun. I am one of those people who will pull things out and I know things need to get thrown away but then I stop and reminisce about old times and then have trouble throwing stuff away. Or I look at everything I need to pack and get so overwhelmed that I just stop and stare, then about 20 min. goes by and I haven't done a thing. Good thing Mark is good with that stuff cause it would never get done. Here I sit taking "a break" while my husband is diligently packing things away and tossing the junk out. But hey, I vacuumed today and took care of a baby! Whoo hoo! Oh and folks come January I will be a bonafied certified pilates mat instructor!!!!! Yeah! For those of you who know me well, you know that is one of my greatest passions. I love the feeling of my abs being torn apart and my inner thighs on fire :) Hahaha there is such a high that comes from thinking you are not going to make it out alive and then making it through class. It's not really that bad but sometimes it feels that way. Pilates has changed my life, I am a HUGE advocate for it and I am so excited to inspire people to feel great and look great. K, I am really distracted by the TV right now so I shall leave you all until next time!

Eating Raw

So after going to the Temecula farmer's market I decided it's time to go raw. I picked up this really good trail mix that has dried berries, raw chocolate, and coconut. Then all was confirmed when I went to my folks house and got to talk to a lady that eats raw and is a certified vegan and raw chef. Now don't get me wrong...raw meat is NOT included in this diet. No amount of money would posses me to eat raw meat. In fact in a raw diet you are supposed to completely remove meat and dairy. Anyhow, I have been doing it the last week and have felt great! It really hasn't been that hard. I am not 100% raw but if I do eat something else it's at least gluten free. So last night on my way home I decided to get a burger as a last resort cause I was hungry! And In and Out's burgers are gluten free cause the buns are made out of sponge bread. Well last night I ended up horrible stomach cramps and let's just say it exited my body quickly. It was amazing to me how when you treat your body well, it has no desire for anything else! It's nice to get back to the basics of food. I mean God really provided every nutrient we need in nature and I intend to take advantage of it! Oh and don't get me started on Bee Pollen. That's right eating fresh raw bee pollen is one of the best things you can do for your body. It is the ONLY food on earth that contains all 22 nutrients your body needs to survive. It has more protein than meat! Look it up, it's quite fascinating. Oh! And Mark and I just closed escrow on a house!!!!!! YEAHHH!!!! So cool. And I just have to say, my son is the cutest little man ever! I just love the little guy!

What a fun day!

Today I got to meet up with a friend who lives in Colorado. She came to Temecula with her daughter who is 10 months older than Jake. Man we had a great time! We went to the farmer's market, went olive oil tasting and walked around Old Town. It was so great to hang with another mom and have no worries about how our kids are acting cause we both have kiddos. But Jake and Kensy both were perfect angels. She loved touching jake's face and he couldn't believe that there was another baby besides him. :) Ah it was wonderful. I picked up this really good raw trail mix at the farmers market. Oooo I am addicted! I got some really cute clothes for Jake at Old Navy. I didn't realize they were so inexpensive! My boy is gonna be one handsome stud! Now I am home cuddling next to Mark and watching our shows. Today was a GREAT day. And tomorrow...we sign escrow papers!